-Bicycles.
Everyone rides a bike, including the old old ladies. Almost all of the bikes I've seen are old and creaky with a maximum of 5 gears. No one ever uses a helmet unless they are hardcore enough to also be sporting a full neon spandex outfit and legs shaved for improved aerodynamics.
-Cream Cheese, Use Of.
It's referred to exclusively as Philadelphia and has a life fully divorced from bagels. I saw a TV commercial the other day that showed two kids running home from school and sitting down to fight over a snack of Philadelphia on a plate. Huh!
-Fanny Packs.
Unexpectedly popular among men of all ages! They go well with designer jeans! Italian fashion is more subtle than I thought. (See also: Fishing Vests.)
-Television.
Programs happen at odd times, like 8:35. I swear the news anchor the other day said "...And tune in later; we'll see you again sometime around 11:10!" Weather reports are delivered by someone who appears to be a high-ranking military officer, accompanied by music straight out of a yoga video.
Stay tuned for more important observations.
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